Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Do you know what it's like to feel a frustration so bad, and so unrelentingly useless that it can't even be alchemized into anything more than what it is? It's depressing. No one can help you but yourself. Infuriating, even. Especially when you're the sort that takes the duck and run approach to unsolvable problems that irritate the hell out of you. But the problem is, how can you run away from yourself? It's not like something you can just cast aside and replace in the face of vicissitudes.
You know how they say, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade? Well yeah, same thing here, except for the very tiny fact that my blender decided to screw up at a time when life decided to be generous with the lemons. Not to mention the fact that lemonade demand is currently on the high. But see, there's no other way of making lemonade unless you actually get around to fixing the damned blender right. It's going to cost me a hell lot to fix it on my own but I guess it's supposed to better prepare me to deal with these kind of things in the future. Doesn't make things any less frustrating and depressing though. People can't do anything to help. The least they can do offer is sympathy, but what good is that except to help nurse an already self-depreciating ego. Your family can only try to ease your misery, your friends can only stand by and sympathize whilst your doctor can only continue prescribing more medicine to stem the superficialities instead of curing the root cause. How utterly frustrating and distressing do you think that feels. I wish I could just pop some pills, ANY pills for that matter, and have everything just go away and return to normal. But things aren't always that straightforward. There's always a catch to every solution that's offered me. It's all just a matter of choosing the one with the least potential side effects. O' happy day, huh.
This wasn't supposed to be such a "My life is so pathetic" entry but blogs are meant to be outlets after all.
'That which doesn't kill you only makes you stronger' - at least, that's what people tell me. But I'm starting to feel as if it should have been something more along the lines of, that which doesn't kill you only pisses you off. Aye.
Shu at 2:26 PM
