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Tuesday, July 29, 2003

Had a really long day. Just got back from Raffles City and Funan Center. Man, am I tired. Had a full dress rehearsal for the education minister's farewell ceremony thing till around 5 something and went to Raffles after the whole thing to get some food. Ate at Burger King with Grace and Toshi. Haha. It was damned funny, we laughed like hell over the dumbest things. When Toshi said that I looked alot better when I was young (with baby fats and all) after he saw my sec 1 picture, I almost died. Haha, damn. Not a great thing to hear about your current self, eh. Anyway, Grace left for home after that and I went to Funan with Toshi to get my hair cut. Arghh. Just for my dear sectional leader's sake. Haha, stupid Toshi was laughing at me during the entire process, man. Embarrassing? Ohh yeah. I don't really like it when people watch me get my hair cut..heh, it's kinda unnerving. Oh well. I reckon, I went into the salon looking a whole lot better than I did coming out. Bleh. Sad, huh. So yeah, by the time I left the place, it was already 8 something..didn't have much energy to do anything else, so I headed home.

Sorry about the sentence structure. Short and summarised sentences today because I've no energy for more details. Gotta take out my drawstring tomorrow just because that damned Yiwen told Ms Ng that I was wearing one. Dammit. He's really asking for it sometimes. Don't really feel like waking up early..maybe I'll come late or something. Heh.


"When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
I summon up remembrance of things past,
I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
And with old woes new wail my dear time's waste:
Then can I drown an eye, unused to flow,
For precious friends hid in death's dateless night,
And weep afresh love's long since cancell'd woe,
And moan the expense of many a vanish'd sight:
Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
And heavily from woe to woe tell o'er
The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
Which I new pay as if not paid before.
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows end."




Shu at 10:00 PM

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Sunday, July 27, 2003

Conscious self
Overall self
Take Free Enneagram Test

Shu at 4:40 PM

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We won.

Woohoooo. The fact that I wasn't expecting us to win, made everything all the more sweeter. And I must say, we all have God to thank for this achievement. I remember starting off on the wrong key when it was our turn to compete and feeling so shitty after that, that I made more mistakes in the course of the next song. Damnnn. During the span of the first 2 songs, all I was thinking was, 'Oh shit. Oh shit. Ohh shiiit.' To me, it seemed as if everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. We were rushing and going sharper at every phrase. Argh. I even screwed up the stupid hand and feet actions that we were supposed to do. I raised my hand to clap Ying Ying's hand when we were supposed to stamp first, and only realized my mistake when I noticed that I was the only one with my hand in the air, looking like a dumbass. Haha. But after the first 2 songs, I managed to compose myself enough to get through the rest of the repertoire without making any obvious mistakes.

The last song really got to me though. It's a really slow and sad piece which holds lots of memories for the alumni. While Valarie Wilson was conducting us, her face suddenly scrunched up as if she was about to cry, as if she was..well, moved by the feelings and the meanings of the song. I remember thinking that this was the last time I would ever get to participate in the SYF, and that thought stuck with me throughout the song. I felt saddened by the fact that I would never get my chance to perform in the SYF ever again with the current j2s, and that my last performance to remember would be such a screwed up one because of the mistakes made in the earlier pieces. Seeing Valarie Wilson, the normally stern-faced vice principal whom we all know, close to tears because of the sudden onslaught of memories, on top of everything I was feeling at that moment in time, really moved me. I felt resolved to sing as if it were the last time I would ever sing again and I felt my eyes blurring in the middle of the song. For the first time, I actually felt like the song meant something to me. I sang what I felt and looked at the faces of the alumni seated in the first few rows of the concert hall, knowing that they felt what I felt too, and that I wasn't alone in that feeling. It has always been hard for me to put music and feelings into words because somehow, words just don't do them justice. I sang my heart out for that last song, determined to make up for the rest of the songs and left the stage feeling saddened but accomplished in a simple way.

When the time came to announce the results, I felt somewhat resigned. I was so sure that we were going to break tradition by not winning the best choir award in this year's SYF finals but when I heard, 'And the best choir is....Anglo-Chinese Junior College!' I just freaked. Haha. Yeah sure, I was praying against hope that we would somehow win but it's the sort of thing that you don't actually expect to happen. Like winning the lottery, as I always say. You hope against all hopes that you'll win but you know that the chances of winning are too damned slim. That doesn't stop you from hoping anyway, does it. Looks like we struck gold this time. :] Through God all things are possible. And so it is, so it is.

It wasn't until after the whole competition that I met my friend who told me that people in the audience were actually moved by that last piece. Strangers that had never even heard nor sang that song before looked as if they could feel the emotions which we conveyed through the music. She told me that she saw a few people tearing and the lady next to her was even crying silent tears. I never knew our music could affect anyone, let alone myself, to such an extent. It's..amazing.

Anyway, I haven't been updating as much cos I've been damned busy. Went for Rachel and Jason's birthday party on friday after the Founders Day Service. It was okay, caught up with lotsa friends and got dunked halfway, in the process, by Yiwen and Nazi. Shit man. If there's one thing I hate the most, it's getting dunked. At least they had the decency to dunk me bottoms first only, if not it'd have been damned embarrassing, seeing that I was in a white top. Stupid yiwen tried carrying me at first and he succeeded in doing that whilst I screamed like hell, and resorted to pulling his hair till he let me down. Hah, sad case. Everyone else was laughing their asses off. Then Nazi teamed up with him to carry me, each holding one of my arms and legs and lifting me off towards the poolside as if I were some pig, off to be barbeqcued on a skewer. Arghh. I kept kicking and screaming for them to let me down but they just continued on. Pangsais. I ended up soaking wet from the waist down and cursing them for their barbaric actions. Ahh, that reminds me. Ecoli developed the pictures of them 'gang-banging' me in the lecture theatre after chemistry. :/ Shiiit. They are so damned embarrassing. All the pictures of me struggling to get free while the guys held me still. Practically everyone was staring at us making a scene. At least my face can't be seen in most of them except one. So there.

I spent most of the time hanging out with Reina, Sop, Denice, Shermain, Mich K. and the rest. And Ang, haha sorry kid, didn't get to talk to you much cos I was pissed at Mopiko. Oh yeah, I've got loads to tell ya! Haha. Guess who I saw at the SYF Finals? *wink* Haha. You know who. Okay, enough of that. I'll talk to ya tomorrow then. You'd better come over to the front of the stage in the morning so I can update you. :P

Shu at 3:11 PM

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Thursday, July 24, 2003


Which [Rainbow Colours] are you?


Ahh I was kinda hoping I'd get orange. But red's just as well.

i'm at home now while more or less everyone else is at school, discounting Shermain. Poor girl is down with some kind of flu, haha, better drink more water and take a break from the milk, kiddo. Growing taller can wait, just concentrate on getting better now, yeah. ;] Doing my gp essay now - “Dictatorships are always guilty of human rights abuses.� Discuss. - it's driving me nuts. I keep typing and backspacing, typing and backspacing. Damn. My points seem to make sense in some areas, but at others, they just seem kind of circular and contradictory to me. Oh well. SYF finals are today. I'd better look through my scores again later. Till then.

Shu at 12:52 PM

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Tuesday, July 22, 2003

I am so freaking angry with him right now. Don't you bloody well go blaming everything that went wrong on me when you were the one that forced this upon me in the first place. Ignorant person. You don't want to see anything that doesn't fit perfectly into your own little sphere of influence, do you. No, you never do. And you never will. Till you get it into your damned head that just because everything was done in accordance with your decisions, doesn't mean that everything'd work out fine. Your decisions aren't always the right ones. Don't be an ass about it. Sure. I'm partially to blame, too. But you're not getting off scot-free either. Take a good, long look at your actions and their effects before criticising the consquences of mine. Or better still, you could just leave me the hell alone.

Shu at 10:31 PM

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Sunday, July 20, 2003







What Planet Are You From?


this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim


Heh, I think I've taken this quiz before, but with a different result though. Oh well, shows you how much people change.

Shu at 1:17 PM

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Ahh, today was o-kay. 'O-kay' in the sense that it had its own fair share of ups and downs. Started off with choir practice at 9am in the morning..can things get any better. We sang through pretty much everything but somehow, the feeling just wasn't there. I felt kind of apathetic, sad to say. Maybe it's just because I'm so damned tired these days, but yeah, I'll have to get over this feeling of apathy by thurs, latest.

After choir, most of the j1s went to bugis to have lunch and man, did I pig out. I tend to eat more than usual when I'm feeling emotions that I don't wanna feel. I don't want to be irritated at my choir mates because I know that they don't really want to scold me or pick on me (I hope), they just don't know that sometimes they do it unconsciously. It took a few others to tell them before they realized. Oh well. Ate 2 and a half, almost 3 mos burgers. One tsukune rice, croquette and a fish burger that Joanna couldn't finish. Then I was still hungry. Heh. So I kind of free-loaded off of Toshi's fries and Dale's coke. Still wasn't enough, so I ate bits and pieces of everyone else's food, haha, gosh, I'm such a glutton. After it all, I was (surprise, surprise) still hungry. So we went to Macs and I got a large fries or Mcshaker..whatever you call it. And then, I was finally full. Dammnn. I over-ate. Haha. But hey, I can't get fat no matter how much I eat, so where's the harm in that, eh? We walked around a bit more and then took the mrt home. Slept for 3 hours straight the minute I got back - felt totally drained. And now, I'm practically an insomniac again. Anyway, supposed to catch Mr Bones with ang, rach, tris, bert, santhosh, nazi, jason, uma and the rest tomorrow. Don't know if I should go though. Ah, we'll see tomorrow.

Shu at 1:00 AM

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Friday, July 18, 2003

DisorderRating
Paranoid:High
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Moderate
Antisocial:Moderate
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Moderate
Narcissistic:Moderate
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:Low

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --




Haha, well, the results say it all. Guess I'll have to watch out for bouts of paranoia, eh.

Shu at 9:07 PM

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Tuesday, July 15, 2003

"234209594 (10:06 PM) :
Bum!

I have liked your profile and I has decided to write You.

234209594 (10:06 PM) :
Tell me itself, me much interesting you..

It's my profile:
http://p.absolutelyagency.com/profile/person.asp?kod=A3642013

I wait you,
Olga"


What the hell..for a moment I thought that icq message came from ang cos of the way she's always calling people 'bum'. Ack, this is sad. I'm getting icq messages from a stranger called..'Olga', of all names, telling me that she wants to 'write me'. Olga..haha, whenever I think of that name, I get an image of a big, manly, german woman with pigtails, somewhat like that in Asterix. Oh well. Again I say, what the hell.

"Tell me itself, me much interesting you.." - Hahaha. These spammers are so damn amusing.

Anyway, yep, couldn't concentrate much in school today cos I was so sleepy. Argh. Wonder why, eh? *looks pointedly at ang* Haha. You lousy blanket-hogger! Not to mention, loud snorer! Gosh. Couldn't sleep at all because of the onslaught of snores being dealt to my ears every few seconds or so, and also because of the cold due to the lack of insulating material. Bah. I had sleep with my back facing you just so I could 'buffer' the noise level emitting from your mouth! Hahah. Sheesh, you owe me one, kid.

Shu at 10:45 PM

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Monday, July 14, 2003

Haha, ang's at my place now! Yay. Haha. She's spending the night cos after we had our pathetically screwed up choir soundcheck, angsana came over and we were supposed to get some studying done but..ah, all we've accomplished is taking lotsa pics again, and talking rubbish. Anyway, not enough time nor energy for anything else. Heh, this is damn fun. :D Yep, have my a'level oral paper tomorrow - reckon I'm gonna fail it badly, seeing that I haven't done much studying of any sort, let alone, chinese, the whole of today. And, hellooo, I still don't know what's bcc! Bleh. You guys were supposed to tell me today man. Hmppf.

Shu at 11:20 PM

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Sunday, July 13, 2003

Got this from Myra's webbie:

A very special Aquarius.

Low Shu Min is the last of the great eccentrics. The funny thing is, she doesn't know it. She thinks her behaviour is perfectly normal. She sees herself as a pillar of propriety and a paragon of protocol. Low has strong views about every topic under the sun. There's not a subject she doesn't know about or a moral point she can't pontificate on. Low is entitled to be a little arrogant. She knows an awful lot about an awful lot of things. She is well versed, well rehearsed, and deeply immersed in the kind of knowledge that we lesser mortals can only dream of attaining. Thankfully, she is there to shed the light and show the way. This, she does generously and patiently, as befits a person of superior intellect. Low Shu Min is wise, intelligent and (thankfully) oblivious to irony.
Or, at least, that's how Low Shu Min is, at her worst. She can't help it. She's an Aquarian and Aquarians are infamous for their occasional outbursts of pomposity. Happily there is another truly delightful side to her. Low is as honest as the day is long, as generous as the ocean is deep. This is partly where the eccentricity comes from, for a person with such strong opinions Low is surprisingly willing to please. she is keen to win friends and influence people. She loves to feel that she belongs. She always wants to be in on the action, part of the scene and one of the gang. Rather like Groucho Marx though, she is never sure that she would want to be part of any club that would a member. She is always on the lookout for some new cause to support, or enterprise to sign up to. You might think that this would make her fickle but actually Low is exceedingly loyal. She may be forever expanding her horizons but she never forgets her friends and she never reneges on her commitments. This is why, despite the highly idiosyncratic nature of Low's personality, so many people think the world of her



Ahh, ennui strikes again. Forgive me.

Shu at 9:42 PM

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What's your true Nationality?


Your Results:


Say it loud and proud: “Ich bin Deutsch� You would feel most at home in the country of snow-capped Bavarian Alps and the Black Forest, of the Rhine and picturesque Beer gardens.

Your personality makes a good fit in Germany, too. Like many Germans, you have a strong pragmatic mind. You tend to reject fantasy and daydreams and refuse to stray from what is tangible reality. You appreciate order, quality engineering and take pride in your own work; you are efficient, hard working and driven in what you do.

That said, you are also a great pleasure seeker. You have compartmentalized work and play in your life and in your mind: when you are working you are focused only on that, but come play time you are greatly attracted to concrete pleasure. You love nature and robust outdoor activities; cuisine is healthy and hearty; home life is simple and hospitable.

Munich is your soul city, with its picturesque architecture nestled away in the mountains, its warm, hospitable beer gardens and polite, welcoming people who work hard and play hard.



-- Heh, doesn't sound much like me, does it?

Shu at 8:09 PM

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Finally, a pic of Ang and I in baggy tees. Don't we look suitably sloppy? :] Haha.

Shu at 4:34 PM

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Saturday, July 12, 2003

Adopt your own useless blob!

Ooh, my useless blob. Don't get too attached - apparently, it's only temporary. Heh, but oh well. It rocks.

Shu at 10:57 PM

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Heh, Ang came over to my place today after I went to see a doctor. Haha, we were trying on all my clothes just for the sake of doing something and taking pics all the while - just uploaded some of em. Anyway, fun is fun. :D It's great acting like a kid once in a while. Never know when you might lose touch with your younger self once society pulls you into its neverending grasp, leading you further and further away from the quintessentials of life.

Ang, we've gotta hold a get-together at my place sometime soon, kid. Haha, and Jason, stop complaining, you can come over next time and help us take the pics then! ;]

The Great Minimum

It is something to have wept as we have wept,
It is something to have done as we have done,
It is something to have watched when all men slept,
And seen the stars which never see the sun.

It is something to have smelt the mystic rose,
Although it break and leave the thorny rods,
It is something to have hungered once as those
Must hunger who have ate the bread of gods.

To have seen you and your unforgotten face,
Brave as a blast of trumpets for the fray,
Pure as white lilies in a watery space,
It were something, though you went from me today.

To have known the things that from the weak are
furled,
Perilous ancient passions, strange and high;
It is something to be wiser then the world,
It is something to be older then the sky.

In a time of sceptic moths and cynic rusts,
And fattened lives that of their sweetness tire
In a world of flying loves and fading lusts,
It is something to be sure of a desire.

Lo, blessed are our ears for they have heard;
Yea, blessed are our eyes for they have seen:
Let the thunder break on man and beast and bird
And the lightning. It is something to have been.

Shu at 9:53 PM

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Friday, July 11, 2003

My phone's with Ruth. I need it back baaad. Argh. My whole schedule's in its organiser, not to mention all my private messages in the phone itself. :/ I can't believe I forgot to get it back from her after the performance..damn. Oh well, I guess a day without my phone can't hurt, can it? I just hope no one reads my messages, that's all. Heh, I'm a private person, you see, so privacy's a big issue with me. ;]

Anyway, I've got my A'levels chinese listening comprehension paper tomorrow morning, and choir after that. Been feeling real nauseous and headache-y ever since I came home this afternoon though, so I prolly won't be going for choir tomorrow. Angsana and I are gonna visit the nearby polyclinic together after the paper cos we haven't really been feeling well. Heh. Besides, I need a break from choir so bad. I need a break from school itself. Gawd. Everything's just bringing me down these days, even the smallest things. It's definitely not pms, and I don't know what it is. It's almost as if I want to go back to Switzerland just to get away from it all, again. Nevermind, I'll just look forward to the upcoming Seoul trip on the 31st - that'll keep me going for now. Problem is, what reason do I give to my teachers for my 3 day absence from school? Ah. I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes. For now, for now, I just need something to look forward to. Feeling so tired at night these days. It's almost as if the earlier part of the day's draining the energy reserve that I need to get through the later part. Nights leave me restless and awake even though I feel weary, and the mornings and afternoons see me energetic as hell at it's most extreme, even to the point of laughing over the most ridiculous things.

Heh, looks like I'm in need of some Jackass episodes to get myself going again. They never fail to make me laugh.

Shu at 10:43 PM

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Thursday, July 10, 2003

A survey I received in an email:


1. Name: Shu Min

2. Were you named after anyone? : Haha, nopes, I doubt it. I'm the original, baby. ;]

3. Do you wish on stars? : I used to, when I was still a kid. Kinda stopped when I realized I had to stop wishing and start doing things if I wanted my wishes to come true.

4. Which finger is your favorite? : Uhm...what the hell? Haha, the index finger, I guess.

5. When did you last cry? : Eek. When I had really screwed up results. It's funny how I can cry about my results, more so than I can cry about the other more personal things in my life.

6. Do you like your handwriting? : Heh, yep. It fits me well.

7. Any bad habits? : Ahh, too few that you guys would wanna know about and too many that would be better off left unsaid. ;] Stoning in the middle of a conversation, tuning out the things that don't interest me, eating at every chance I get, deluding myself in an effort to get through this phase we call 'Life'.

8. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? : I don't have any embarrassing cds on my shelf because they all head straight for my closet the moment I get sick of them. :D Though the closest one I have to embarrassing now is Justin Timberlake - Justified. I can't stand him, something my dad didn't know when he bought that cd for me.

9. If you were another person, would you be friends WITH you? : Haha, but of course. What other alternative would there be? ;]

10. Are you a daredevil? : It depends on what sort of situation I'm in when I'm called on to act like one. But if it involves stunts like bungee-jumping, then nuh-uh, I'm not that ready for a taste of the fine line between life and death.

11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? : Yep, before I made it an issue not to tell anything I swore not to tell again.

12. Do looks matter? : Ah, how superficial it is of me, but yes, they do matter. Then again, the point is not whether looks matter or not, but the extent to which they matter. I'd say looks is the thing that first attracts my attention, but how long my attention is held depends on one's personality.

13. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? : Heh, yeah. The most recent being, 'Mojo'. Blehh.

14. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? : If only, eh? But nope, because I've seen the end of one and there wasn't anything there but rays of light. Oh well.

15. Do fish have feelings? : Heh, it depends on what type of feelings. They do have feelings when it comes to feeling pain or feeling cold, but the thought of them having other feelings like jealousy or happiness doesn't really sit well with me.

16. Are you trendy? : Haha, I've been called that before but sometimes you never know whether people are just testing out their sarcasm on you. So I guess, I'll just have to hope I am. ;]

17. How do you release anger? : Truthfully, I don't really know. I guess I tell more people about the source of my anger and curse more in extreme provocations, not to sound like I'm some gangster-wannabe or something but to sort of delude myself into thinking that every curse is like a part of my anger and pain, and that the more I spit out those curses, the more I rid myself of my anger.

18. Where are your second homes? : Gosh. The damned heritage room in school where we have our choir rehearsals and of course, school, itself.

19. What was your favorite toy as a child? : Heh...my toy ponies. I can just imagine Sop and Denice laughing like hell at this admission.

20. What subjects in school do you think are totally useless? : Nothing is completely useless. All the subjects taught in school are meant to help us to learn, if not they wouldn't be taught in the first place. But of course, that doesn't discount the fact that we loathe some of them.

21. Do you have a journal? : Yep, changed my journals too many times because people kept leeching off my private life by reading them without my knowledge. So yeah, finally got one for the general public's interest, like my friends and all.

22. Do you use sarcasm a lot? : Heh, I used to but now I only use it when it befits the occasion. Sarcasm rides the thin line of being really lame or being somewhat witty in a dry way, which makes it all the harder to use on an everyday basis and still maintain a "respectable" appearance. ;P

23. What do you look for in a guy/girl? : Ahh. Honesty, would be the most important. A strong sense of trust, fidelity, initiative to do or say things outright without beating around the bush and well, he'd have to be different in an appealing way, be it appearance or personality-wise.

24. What are your nicknames? : Damn..I've got loads. :/ Shu, shumz, shummy, tall girl, skinny, skins, SIA girl, cat (?!)..and the list goes on. Heh, some of them are really weird.

25. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? : Heck no, that's a waste of time and energy when I can just slip em off easily.

26. What are you worried about right now? : Not being able to sleep again tonight, thereby having yet another sleepless night added to my growing list.

27. Do you think that you are mentally strong? : Hah. I hope so. I guess one's strength of mind depends on whether or not one knows when to be strong enough to give in, and when to be strong enough to stand up for oneself.

28. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? : Cookies and cream, definitely. Anyone that has cookies and cream ice cream will be my best friend straightaway. :]

29. What's your favorite colour/s? : It'd be obvious by now if you know me - ORANGE. Yeaaah, it rawks.

30. What is your least fav? : Pink? Haha, I don't really care.

31. How many wisdom teeth do you have? : Hrm, don't know.

32. Are you in love w/ anyone? : Haha. I shall withold comment. 'Love' is a relative term, isn't it? ;]

33. How many people have a crush on you right now? : Wha..? None that I know or want to speak of. The thing about most people with crushes is that they expect you to like them back even though you don't even know that they have a crush on you. Kinda hard to return the liking of an anonymous person, don't ya think?

34. Who do you miss most right now? : Ahh, people whom I'm close to, of course. Heh.

35. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? : Wishful thinking, though it may be, but yeah. Duh.

Shu at 9:19 PM

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Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Oh no. Oh, noooo. I don't wanna sing for morning assembly! Nooo. Please, someone please, tell me that this isn't happening. I can't sing in front of people, let alone the whole damned school. I'm so going to screw up in front of the choir teachers majorly, just so they'll change their minds. The worst thing is the fact that I'll have to be in school extra early just to warm up and all. Won't even get to sit with my class anymore. Arghh. What the hell possessed them to pick me?! :( There're so many other people that are much better vocally and responsibility wise. Shiiit. How am I gonna be able to skip school in the future when my absence is going to be so damned noticeable? The whole school'll be able to tell with one glance if I'm at school or not. The disciplinary teachers, more importantly. I'm always missing school, if I keep it up then they'll definitely notice something erratic about my attendance. Dammit, this sucks ass. I. Don't. Want. To. Sing. In. Front. Of. The. Whole. School. For. Assembly. I definitely have to screw up when the teachers get us to run through the songs on saturday, maybe that might get them to reconsider their choice. :/

Argh, Ang just reminded me that if I end up singing on stage, Tristan and Yiwen will be laughing at me and cracking their own lame jokes the entire time, as usual. How sickening. Blehh. Sometimes, they really remind me of little girls. Sheesh. The way they laugh and giggle at each others' lameness. I hope they read this cos they are so very gay sometimes. Haha, if calling each other by petnames like 'Honeypie' in an sms isn't gay, I don't know what is. I've had enough jacking from Mopiko (yiwen) and Co. already, ackk, I got jacked the whole of recess today by all of them. They are so damn embarrassing! Mopiko tried to grab my hand and place it at Nazi's..uhm, nethers, whilst I was eating. Gross, I tell you. And the whole group of them tried to brainwash me into believing that Jurong East was in the East when it's so obviously in the West. By the way, someone tell me what 'mojo' means? Something like 'power', right? Bah, everyone kept telling me 'mojo' was another term for a guy's dick. It can't be that, right?! Austin Powers couldn't have been going around screaming, "You stole my mojo!" when it meant dick, could he? :/ Ack. Then again, I might be better off not knowing. Yep, anyway, got a long day ahead tomorrow. Later.

Shu at 10:27 PM

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Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Argh. Bloody computer just ate up my entire entry about today just as I was about to post it. I will remain calm and composed. Oh, how appealing the thought of flushing it down the drainage system seems now. Damned computer. Too tired to retype everything, oh well.

I'm completely burnt out. Spent the whole day walking to and fro. Reina, Ang, Shermain and I went to PS after school cos Reina wanted to get her hair cut at Reds, which I personally think is overpriced and overrated. Haha, managed to convince her to cut her hair at some place where money spent would be more worthwhile. Anyway, the rest of us went along mostly just for the sake of going out while we still could (before we got back our pathetically, sad term results). Most of our time was spent eating at KFC and just talking rubbish about school and people - the usual. Yeah, so after it all, Reina and I headed for Far East whilst Ang and Shermain went home. Heh, Reina ended up getting her hair cut at this styly looking salon while I sat at the side feeling bloody extra. 15 minutes later, I asked the stylist how long her cut would take and when he said "1 hour." I just up and went. Decided to take a walk around Orchard by myself for a change - something I haven't done in ages. It's refreshing to just to be able to walk around and be by yourself once in a while. I'm serious. Heh. You can more or less do what you want, whenever you want, as long as it's within the boundaries of sanity and social 'etiquette' because to be straight to the point - no one else around you gives a damn. You're just a stranger to them. You wanna sit down at the side of the road just for the sake of sitting down? Hell yeah. Walk around aimlessly with no purpose in mind, at your own pace? No problem. All options are just more or less open to you and to what you want to do because you've got no one's feelings or preferences to pay heed to.

So yeah, I walked and I enjoyed some sense of solitude even if it lasted for an average of half and hour, at the very least. Passed by Borders and got a book by Robert Jordan. He writes great books. No more, no less. Elizabeth Wurtzel is yet another eminent author, in my opinion. Prozac Nation was written by her and a movie based on it is currently in the works; long story, short - it's about the depressed and their emotional turmoil. Well-written and well-expressed. Yep, I got my purchase and made my way back to poor stiff-backed, Reina who was practically dying in her roll-chair. You know how it is when someone's cutting your hair and they tell you not to move your head and all, well yeah, don't you think it's funny how we always take it to mean "Don't move the rest of your body parts" either? Anyway, she was sitting damned straight, I tell you; so concerned that her haircut might be affected adversely if she even moved an inch. Haha, funny as hell. I sat down on the other roll-chair to rest my aching feet for a while more before deciding I was better off at home, taking a nice bath. So yep, I headed home, got some rest and slacked around. I don't feel like coming to school tomorrow. But there's choir. So I need a valid excuse, as usual. Shite. We'll see how things go.

Shu at 11:14 PM

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Monday, July 07, 2003

A Solider's Gamble.

A Soldier's Gamble

Hidden beneath the battle-lightened skies,
The downtrodden grass of many a year past,
Gave refuge to my weakened state of mind
And fleeting relief from the bound'ries of time.

'Twas 'ere my body, my soul, did lie
In the heaviness of the pressing night,
And weary grew I, of the passing lives
Seen thro' the apathy of a soldier's eyes.

The ebbing cries of the man to my left
Was a firm reminder of the gamble made,
With victory also comes the prospect of death,
Alas! Its course leaves the gambler bereft.

'Tis wise to heed not the sins of men so caught in war,
For blinded are many by the very cause
Which spurs them on to right all fathomable flaws.
Mercy is repaid with the swiftness of Death's call.

Mayhaps it be time for me to pass along
And savor the sweet mortality yielded,
To renounce the deeds of men long gone
And forsake the woes which leave one forlorn.


-- I like starting off with a poem. Wrote it last year when I still had the time. Ahh well, who am I fooling? We all know I'm just trying to waste space for the moment till I have something of consequence to write. ;]

Shu at 10:35 PM

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Okay, the pictures are finally up and ready! Heh, took me a good deal of time. Look to the left, under 'Stare at Me'. Not to mention, the guestbook, which is under 'Scrawl on Me'.

Shu at 12:35 AM

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Sunday, July 06, 2003

First official entry.

First entries always make me feel like I ought to write something of significant importance in them. Alas, if that were the case, I'd be a literary genius by now. Seeing that I've not yet achieved that status nor do I reckon I'll ever reach it, let's just deal with the fact that if anyone wants to read anything of grave magnitude, please feel free to proceed to a bloody news website like CNN or some other source of 'entertainment'. The reason for the word 'entertainment' is that some people - poor, deprived souls, in fact - actually enjoy reading about tragedies as a form of entertainment. They find it 'exciting' to read about the current war that's taking place in some other region far away, as if it were a movie or historical war novel. Hrm, what's that word for it..ah. Sadists. Yes, I believe that's the word. Though on second thoughts, it's probably too harsh a labelling for those I'm talking about. But, you get what I mean. Sad to say, I know people like that - people that treat such things of grim importance with the frivolity that comes with ignorance. Oh I'm not trying to imply that I'm not ignorant in the affairs of the world, because I am. Do not assume that just because I share my 'critiques' here, that I think of myself as above everyone else in terms of what I'm critiquing them about. I'm just as ignorant as the average teenager. Well, except maybe for the fact that I strive not to be so. However, striving to be something and achieving it are two fundamentally different concepts.

Decided to get a new bloggie apart from my old ujournal because it was stumbled upon by some who weren't meant to read it. To make things short - I lost the privacy and anonymity that one needs at times when it comes to talking, or rather, writing about personal things. I started to write about trivial matters that I didn't even care about just because I couldn't broach my private problems in front of the people that I didn't want reading my journal. It was my rant journal. I reckon the only place where one can't be held accountable for one's thoughts is the internet. Or rather - the typical online journal or blog. It's the anonymity that keeps one from feeling restricted in terms of ideas, and it's through that same sense of anonymity that one gets the courage to say things which one probably can't say in the real world. The narrow-minded, cynical world that's full of double standards - something one just cannot try to comprehend, and can only try to deal with as a part of life. So, I set this up for the main purpose of making it my more or less public journal for those of you that want in on my public life, while my more private entries might be found as 'friends only' entries in my old uj. Till then.

Shu at 2:07 PM

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Saturday, July 05, 2003

Test drive.

Shu at 10:54 PM

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