Sunday, July 24, 2005
Friends.
In these past six months, as cliche as it may sound, I've learnt so much and seen so many different sorts of people that it's been such a great eye-opener. I feel like I've seen so much more of human nature than I ever would have in this short period, had I not made my choice to take a gap year. It's almost as if I've garnered 3 years of experience in the span of half a year. Universal street-smarts or cultural perspectives that I would have otherwise never known, had I stayed in Singapore these past six months working at an office job or going to school. I'm not knocking those who have been doing just that, just marvelling at the amount of things one can learn about people in general that school can never teach you. Yeah, some people might say that I've been wasting time with foolish pursuits, but these are the people who'll tell you to walk down the well-worn path that so many others have tread upon because it's the 'normal' thing to do, the usual road to follow in the natural progress of things. I mean, why waste time travelling and exploring when sooner or later you're gonna have to come home to face 'reality', right? Wrong. Just because home is my final destination doesn't mean that I should skip out on all the other places on my itinerary and head straight to it. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200. So what? If I'm short of that bloody $200 I'll scrimp and save or work along the way whilst living budget, if it so means that I'll get to take a longer journey before I reach GO again. This isn't a game of Monopoly. This is life. We do not all have to take the same traditional route to the end. Not everyone wants the typical Singaporean life, whereby there is usually no disruption in the order of things from the time you graduate from junior college, worry about getting into a good university, go on to worrying about making the grade, get caught up in the whole paperchase, to the time you finally make it into the working world, and then start worrying about workplace politics, at the same time getting stressed over the constant ticking of your biological clock telling you you're not getting any younger and maybe it's time to settle down and start a family. Yes, it's not a bad life, but why deny me the chance to travel and enjoy freedom of movement while I still can, just so I can quicken the process of becoming yet another insignificant statistic in the working society? I'm not saying I won't be working whilst travelling, I'm just not too keen on making work my sole aim right now. I don't want to get sidetracked by the idea of trying to make as much money as I can, instead of what it started out with - making little enough money just to get me by on my passions so that I don't burden my family financially any more than university will. After I've gone to university and started working will there be little opportunities here and there for a "steady" (nothing is ever really steady though) trickle of income to repay parental loans and take care of them (Yeah this might sound really optimistic but it's just a start, so if it doesn't work out, you can laugh. But for now, play nice and keep it to yourself). Anyway, to continue what I was saying, the bare minimum I have now is fine with me because it's all I have saved up. Countless people comfort themselves with the fact that they'll have sufficient time to travel or enough time to enjoy life after graduating from university, but how many have actually escaped the lure of the paperchase. Or the constant urge to obtain a higher position in the working hierarchy upon entering society. Most get too caught up in the whole course of things that they don't realize the prime of their life is gone until one day, they wake up and it dawns on them that they've gone through half their lives in a rush and have nothing to show for it except for material possesions and wrinkles. Some of the 'lucky' (questionable?) ones realize earlier and end up getting married and starting a family. But that in itself is a whole new chapter, where what was once your life, now becomes part of a bigger ideal known as the 'Family' life. What I'm trying to get at here, is that I don't want to miss out on the prime of my life just because I was too busy chasing degrees or working my way towards a higher paycheck. There will always be enough time for further higher-educational or money-making opportunities in the future, but I'm not getting any younger and vitality counts when it comes to achieving what I want to do - that is, to travel and see as much of the world and people as I can. Bear in mind that this is what I love. This whole paragraph being written as a rant against those who have marked my passion for travelling down to foolishness and the like in the face of their condescension, and not in the purpose of degrading others' version of an ideal life (which could be anything ranging from becoming financially independent successfully or starting a family and raising one's children to the best of their abilities). It was never in my interest to offend, just to defend. One persons meat is another persons poison. So please try not to compare your idea of an ideal life to mine when, one, we are all different, and thus two, everyone has varied ways of deriving happiness and contentment.
Anyway, on a lighter note (ha ha), one of the things I've come to realize these few months is the many meanings of which the word 'Friends' can hold or how versatile it can be. Friends from all over the world, new friends old friends, good friends toxic 'friends', long-distance ones and short-distance ones, friendships forged through circumstance, a day, a month, a year, even throughout life, long-term friends and short-term friends, friends who were more than friends, friends who were just acquaintances...and so on. How quickly some friendships are made and lost, in the same time circumstance chooses to throw both of you together or apart. How it takes more than just similar interests or personalities to make a friendship work in the long-run. How you may be friends with someone one day, and strangers the next or vice versa, due to the lack of effort on one's part or invitation on the others'. It's funny that way. Regardless, it doesn't stop one from missing the times spent together and the silly things done that was so characteristic of a particular friendship. Travelling continuously for the past few months has showed me alot in terms of friends, friendships, relationships and family. It is tough maintaining friendships whilst moving around, not only with friends at home but with friends made along the way. Alot tougher than I thought. Especially when you return, and are reminded that life back home goes on whether or not you're here to witness its progress or not. Anyway, here's to working harder on my part to hold it together, to be more rooted/grounded and not be so much of a lazy (or more possibly, never-present and invisible) arse anymore. The long scroll of pictures below from the past half a year is just a personal reminder of the myriad of implications that 'being friends' can bring. I just hope my good friends know who they are, even tho I might not show my appreciation all that much sometimes. :)
Shu at 1:07 PM
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